5 Myth About Love That is Ruining Your Life
Love. A beautiful word that is supposed to ignite good feelings among us. That should ignite goosebumps in us. But why do some people of our generation are suffering in love or because of love? Is suffering because of love justified in some way?
To tell the truth. The reality about a healthy relationship and healthy love has been distorted by movies, TV shows, and songs. And people are trying to model their love or relationship after that fantasy. Because they have no real model.
So, Today let us discuss 5 myths about Love that are probably keeping you unhappy.
1) There exists only one soulmate
Well, this scarcity thinking is the reason why people stay in physically, mentally or emotionally abusive relationships. Because they think if they lose this person. They would never find another person that would love them the way they do or treat them the way they do. They start forming an idealistic image of them, which they are not. But where does this scarcity thinking comes from?
Because it’s what we see in movies. I mean, there’s only one hero and one heroine, and no matter what shit goes in their life. In the end, they end up together. And the word soulmate and the one is being frequently repeated.
But life is not movies. There is no Romeo and Juliet. There are no Jack and Rose. Instead, there are a lot of Romeos and Juliets and there are a lot of Jacks and Roses. You in life my friend, are gonna meet a lot of people with whom, you’ll share a deep connection if you want to. But if you’re gonna stay put with that abusive relationship and refuse to move on. You’re gonna suffer and suffering is not love.
2) If you keep chasing the girl and keep doing good things for her. She will be yours
If you have seen South movies or even Bollywood movies. You know what I’m talking about. A dance sequence where the male lead keeps running around the girl and the girl is disgusted by it. But then the hero saves her and she falls in love with him. Yes, that’s the fantasy many people live in.
They are not kind and helpful to a girl for the sake of being helpful to a girl. But because they think, that somehow this will make the girl fall in love with them. And when the girl doesn’t. They abuse her saying, I did all this for you and you didn’t even love me. Why? Why would she? Did she tell you that, do all these and I’ll fall for you?
Remember the kid, you helped who fell down in the park. You helped them because you’re a kind person. Not because you wanted money from them or their snacks. You might even forget that you helped a kid. So, why do you keep a mental count of the things you did for the girl you like.
By doing stuff for her, by helping her. You will not win her love. That’s a fact. Do good things without anything in expectations.
3) Happily ever After
Have you read or watched fairy tales. Where the girls or boys life is shit and they meet a guy or girl and their life does around flip. And boom they become happily ever after. But life is no fairy tale. Finding a compatible partner is only the first step of a relationship, not the only one.
And a relationship doesn’t bring happiness. It brings responsibilities with it. Happiness is the side effect of fulfilling those responsibilities. And there would be hard times. Where you’ll just not understand the other person. Or you’ll fight like dogs and cats. And that is normal, every relationship goes through its own rough patches.
So, a happily ever after doesn’t exist. But you’ll be happy if you fulfill the responsibilities that the relationship brings.
4) One-sided love does no harm
Yeah even if she doesn’t love me, there’s no harm in staying friends. Right? Wrong. If I ask you what kind of love she deserves, what would you answer? You might probably say something like, “She deserves someone who loves her with every beat of his heart.” Okay, I agree. But doesn’t the same applies to you too?
A relationship where the partner's goals are different will eventually fail. You are looking for love, affection in a friendship and she’s only looking for companionship. So, how are your goals the same?
The truth is One-sided love does more harm than good. You’re always gonna be struggling and begging for shreds of affection. Life shouldn’t be like the movie Ae Dil Hai Mushkil. You don’t have to struggle for love. You deserve it.
So, move on. Yeah, it’s gonna be difficult in the short term. But in the long term, It will be a blessing.
Remember the cardinal rule of dating: Love someone who loves you back.
5) Love at first sight exists
Again the movies are to blame. Guy sees the girl for the first time. And boom, he fell in love. In movies they make love to be something like a magical phenomenon. Whereas what the character feels is attraction.
Attraction means the possibility of a partner. Not a sure shot partner.
Love happens as a result of compatibility and like-mindedness with someone. Whereas attraction is completely biological.
So, don’t confuse attraction with love. They both are completely different phenomenons.
Now that you have cleared the misconceptions about love. Hope you enjoy a healthy dating life.
